


I want you forever (even when were not together)

by Monosterper40



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Closure, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Gay Male Character, Lost Love, Love, M/M, Makeup, Marriage Proposal, Open Ending, Original Character(s), Post-Break Up, Same-Sex Marriage, Smut, kinda sad, not between h/l
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-09-20 13:29:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9493526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monosterper40/pseuds/Monosterper40
Summary: Harry is in love with Louis at age 16, Louis disappears one night and isn't seen for 7 years. The day Louis comes back is the day his heart shatters: he should've keep his promise.





	1. The night Louis left.

_7 years earlier, the night louis left._

_"mom, I have to do this, for myself. I can't stay in this town, in this house." Louis and Jay are having an argument in his bedroom as he packs a small suitcase. "Louis, honey. You're 16. You can't possibly be fine all by yourself. Sleep on this before making a final decision, please." Jay had tears forming in her eyes and Louis knew he couldn't leave with that face staring at him as he left so he sighed and agreed, "just for tonight and if I still want to leave tomorrow night I will." Jay thought she could change his mind that she could persuade him to stay, so happy with his agreement she gave him a quick hug and walked back to her room._

_At exactly midnight Louis was up and out of his bed, grabbing all the money he could, and climbing out his window. He could've left later but he needed to talk to someone first._

_"what do you mean you're leaving?! Louis are you insane? We're 16, you can't possibly think that you could even last out alone let alone a whole year!" Why was everyone so against Louis finding himself Louis thought to himself. "harry, you wouldn't understand I have to do this for myself. I can't keep living this way. I can't just go through life doing what my parents want me to do." Harry wanted to cry and scream and beg Louis to stay with him but he also knew Louis' mind was set and he was leaving no matter what he said so with a sad little smile and a quick hug they said their goodbyes and promises to see each other in exactly one year._

_"I love you." Harry whispered into the darkness of his now empty bedroom, all he could do now was hope for his Louis to come back soon and in good health._

_A year later harry found himself crying on his mom's bed because Louis promised he'd be back by now and he wasn't. He was still gone, harry felt stupid for trusting that Louis would actually come back but he still had a little bit of hope._

_Two years after that harry was in a healthy relationship with a nice boy he met in one of his art classes, he could say he was a bit smitten_

_Three years after that harry was working in a local coffee shop, going to a local university, and was now living with his boyfriend of 3 and a half years._

_A year after that on a windy fall morning was the day his life changed._


	2. The morning Louis came back

Present day, The morning Louis came back. 

The morning had been pretty busy, harry was in charge of opening up the coffee shop in the mornings so he had to wake up two hours earlier just to get things done before work, his boyfriend loved and hated him for it. 

"Harry, babe. You still have 2 hours before you have to go open the shop, just lay here with me and cuddle for a minute." Lucas called from their bedroom but harry was already awake, dressed and ready to go on a morning jog. "Love, I'll be back in an hour or so don't forget to feed Oreo (typical black and white cat name, harry has been told) if you leave before I come back." He leaned down and gave Lucas a simple peck "Love you, have a good day. I'll see you later" which Lucas knew usually meant he wasn't planning on coming back in an hour, "Love you too" and with that Harry was out the door.

The sunrise was coming up and all Harry could think about was how beautiful it was and how lucky he was to be able to see it everyday. "hiya, Harry. I see you're up early this morning, again." Harry heard Louisa call after him, Louisa had known him for as long as he can remember, she had been living in these flats longer than Lucas and Harry have. "why, hello Ms.Louisa, why are you up so early this morning?" Harry asked, she was never up before eight in the morning so to see her up at six in the morning would be a bit of a shock to anyone who knew Louisa. "actually, I couldn't sleep, Sam is supposed to come home today  and I'm anxiously waiting for him, I'm driving myself mad." Ah, the famous Sam, Harry had never met him but he was hoping he would be able to soon. "well, Louisa maybe you should sleep, then he will be here sooner". "oh, hush. You know that doesn't work, but when he gets here i'll introduce my Sam to you. Now go on that long run of yours." 

Harry ran for almost an hour before stopping at his favorite flower shop, where his friend Eric worked. "Harry, mate I just opened shop, and you're the first one to walk through the door." Eric teased with a smile on his face that told he was actually happy to see Harry. "Eric, mate, why haven't the flowers been delivered to my house this week?"  the flowers he told Lucas were his favorite but in reality they were Louis' favorite. "oh, sorry mate, some guy came in last night right before we closed and bought us all out of white jasmine flowers." That was strange for the past 4 years no one but harry had gotten those type of flowers. "oh, um, when do you think you'll have them again?" Harry was a bit disappointed, but he was also polite. "I'm sure we'll get a shipment of them by the end of the week." Harry could wait a little longer so he bought an orchid and went home.

Fridays had always been busy but today was ridiculous. "what can I get you?" Harry asked without looking up, but once he did, he wishes he hadn't. "can I have a medium black coffee?" The man asked, he still hadn't looked down from the menu which Harry was grateful for, "and can I also get a blueberry muffin." When he finally looked down blue met green and all the memories flashed before his eyes and Harry darted his eyes away before saying "um, that'll be $7.50" Harry didn't even have to ask his name, "Harry, can we talk?" Shit, no they couldn't talk, his life was finally something he was proud of and if he came back now all his hard work would go to hell. "um, I'm a little busy as you can probably see." He replied in a voice that wasn't very friendly and motioned to the long line of people getting impatient. "oh, yeah of course. I meant like later, after, I have things I want to explain to you." Harry was pissed now, he couldn't do this right now. "Louis now is not the time. Your coffee is ready, goodbye." Louis had a disappointed look on his face but he didn't fight him, and before Harry knew it the day was over and every customer that had been in that day was now out and all the tables were clean and empty. "who was that guy that wanted to talk to you?" Cara, Harry's boss asked with a questioning look on her face. Harry wanted to lie, tell her that it was just some guy that he was doing a project with at uni, that he meant nothing to him, but he had learned that lying to Cara only came back to bite him in the ass so with a deep sigh he explained who exactly Louis was to him and why he didn’t want to talk to him and how he didn't know how Louis had found him after such a long time, Cara hugged him and told him that everything was going to be just fine and that the moment he laid eyes on Lucas he was going to feel better, Harry believed her. It was Harry's job to open shop and then lock up, "hey, now that you’re done working can we talk?" Harry was startled but he would recognize that voice anywhere. "actually, you don’t even have to talk just listen to me." Before Harry could reply his phone was ringing, it was Lucas. "hello?" "Harry, are you off work? I'm sorry I'm a bit late, work kept me later than I expected" Lucas rambled which harry thought was the cutest thing but right now it was a little irritating, "Lucas, it's fine. I just got off." "okay, I'll be there in less than 5 minutes, love you." "love you too." Harry saw the way Louis seemed to shrink at those words but he didn't feel bad at all. "Louis, I can't really talk right now." "Harry please listen to me, I want you to know that this isn't something I wanted" Harry wanted to cry, this couldn't be happening to him, today, right now. Harry opened his mouth to talk but as soon ass he did he saw Lucas' car pull up and instead grabbed his bags and walked up to the car, got in, and gave Lucas a quick kiss before they drove off.

Harry tried not to look back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the louisa part was a bit odd, but it has a purpose. I promise.


	3. The day of the breakdown

The day of the breakdown

H arry asked for the day off, the first time since that one time Lucas was so sick Harry felt the need to stay home and take care of him. Lucas questioned it, asking if he had a cold or if he had pains anywhere. "baby, do you want me to stay home? We can cuddle and I could  make you feel better." The meaning  behind that wasn't an innocent one so harry denied the  suggesti on and told him to go to work. "I'll be fine, I am just  gonna lay in bed and read or something." Lucas didn't buy it, Harry could tell but he decided to go to work anyway.

It was midday when the doorbell rung, scaring harry and making him spill the tea he had spent half an hour making. "shit" he muttered before grabbing a rag and drying his hands. "coming!" He yelled. When he finally opened the door he found Louisa standing with a brown haired man holding her famous homemade cookies in his hand. "oh, hi Louisa. Lovely to see you, who is this handsome fella?" Harry asked before motioning them to come in "this here is my Sam, I thought we'd come and cheer you up since Lucas told me you weren't feeling well when I ran into him this morning." Harry wasn’t even surprised anymore. "well thank you, That’s very kind of you. Would you like some tea? I was just about to make some." He laughed; no one else did.

"so, S am , how long have you been Louisa's Sam? Harry asked after putting more water to boil. Louisa gave Sam a look that would make any mans' skin crawl. "I think about two years now." Louisa smiled at him and Harry could see the his shoulders relax "how lovely." Harry said, not really  intere sted in hearing more about them. "the teapot is whistling" Harry missed that, his mind was occupied. "I'll be right back." He brought back three teacups , a container full of sugar, and a glass container that contained milk. "so, Harry what do you do?" Harry hated this question because he was a 23 year old man, he should be doing something important with his life by now but for the past seven years he had been fantasizing about a boy who didn't even love him enough to keep his promise. "uh, actually I graduate in May and then I hope to teach in a school nearby." Lies, he was a bloody liar, he didn't know what he wanted to do but he certainly knew he didn't want to teach. "Louisa told me you worked at the little coffee shop down the street, my sister works there." Louisa smiled at him but Harry could tell she was reading his mind, she could do that  apparently "oh, is her name C ara ?" Harry tried to avoid Louisa's eyes "yes, C ara , i haven't seen her in years." Sam said. "she's lovely, she's actually the owner, I work for her." Sam looked shocked, like he didn't know that his own sister owned a pretty successful coffee shop. "wow, I never thought she'd actually do it. Funny how things change in a matter of 7 years." Louisa and S am only stayed for an hour or so before S am got  call ed into work. "we'll talk later" L ouisa said before she left with Sam.

H arry decided to make dinner for his boyfriend to keep his mind off of Louis, it didn't work. He ended up making a  Caesar salad with homemade croutons, he knew  Lucas would love it. Harry sat at the kitchen table drinking wine he probably shouldn't mix with his antidepressants but who was going to find out anyway. It was five thirty when Lucas got home, which was early for him. The moment  Lucas' eyes landed on Harry, Harry could see the  disappointment in his eyes. "I made dinner. I forgot to tell you, you didn't eat already , right?" Harry sniffled "H arry , baby why don't we go upstairs, take a bath and then i'll let you take a nap?" Harry  cou ld see the pity in his eyes and he didn't even know the half of it, didn't know the ex-love of his life had come back to town after seven years of nothing, didn't know that his mind was a jumbled mess. "no! I made you dinner, I want you to eat, I want to take care of you." The words stumbled out of his mouth the way Harry did when he tried to stand up and walk towards him. "baby, I'll eat while you nap, I want you to take care of yourself." Harry didn't want that, he wanted to feed his boyfriend dinner, take a bath with him, and then maybe cuddle up while watching the stupid documentary  Lucas had found the week before. "no, no. I'll make you a plate." Lucas sat down,  de ciding he couldn't really do anything about it, Harry was stubborn. Glass shattering and then sobbing was heard "shit, baby." Lucas kneeled down to where harry was sat on the kitchen floor surrounded by broken pieces of glass and heavy tears running down his cheeks. "why am I such a fuck up? Why do I mess everything up? Why?" Harry slammed down a hand on a piece of glass, cutting a deep gash into the skin there. "Harry, baby come on, get up for me." Lucas reached out to take a hold of  Harry's hands and pulled him up,  Lu cas had never seen this side of Harry and it was quite fright ening if he  was being honest, he grabbed a hold of H arry's waist,  led him up the stairs, and made him lay down in their bed after bandaging his cut. "Harry, take a nap. When you wake up we'll talk about what's happened and why." Harry didn't reply, just curled up and fell asleep. 

Lucas was too good to Harry, he decided. The moment harry opened his eyes Lucas was there with a hot cup of tea made just the way harry liked it. He didn't ask any question, didn't pressure Harry into talking to him about the night before. Harry was the first to speak up, "babe, listen I just wanted to apologize for last night. I feel like a complete arse, you're too good to me, I love you" Lucas sighed and took one of Harry's hands in his before speaking in the soft tone he used when he talked to Harry's niece or when he talked to their baby (Oreo). "Harry, listen what happened last night was really scary, to see you like that was something I never thought I'd have to do see but I did and I want you to talk to me, I want you to trust me enough to tell me when you don't feel good, I never want you to feel alone, I love you." Harry could hear the disappointment in his voice and all he wanted to do was cry but instead he took a deep breath, squeezed Lucas' hand in his own, and told him about Louis, everything about Louis, how he was in love with him when he was 16, how Louis left and broke his heart, how he was the first person he has loved since Louis. Lucas took it well, comforting him when Harry was in tears, telling him how much he loved him; It all helped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um, sooo i don't know how i feel about this chapter, i wanted to build Lucas and Harry's relationship but i think i built it too strong and I kinda ship it more than Larry.....oops. don't worry this is still a Larry story but i'll feel bad about what happens after this.


	4. The day Louis explained

The day Louis got to explain. 

It was a Monday morning when everything seemed to be going back to how it was before Louis showed up out of nowhere and flipped Harry's world upside down, Harry took the weekend off but now he felt ready to go back to work, and school. "Harry, are you sure? You could stay home and I could call in sick and spend the day with you." Harry wanted that, but he also knew he needed to start living his normal life. "babe, no. I've stayed home enough days." Harry said while he scrambled some eggs and toasted some sliced bread. "okay, I just want you to be ready, you could see him today if he really wanted to have you back in his life." Harry hadn't thought of that, didn't want to think about the fact that Louis could show up at his work anytime he wanted and he could do nothing about it. "uh, I- I want to go back to work, and I have a class in the afternoon that I can't miss, I'll be fine." They ate in silence, this was the first weekday morning in four years where Harry was actually home and not out running so they had no idea what to talk about... Soon enough it was time for Lucas to head to work so he gave Harry a quick kiss, grabbed his briefcase, coffee cup, and left. Now Harry was alone, truly alone for the first time in the past forty-eight hours, he didn't like it so he gave Oreo a kiss, grabbed his bag, keys, and walked out locking the door behind him. 

"Harry! Good to see you back behind the cash register!" A man Harry sees almost every day  exclaimed making Harry jump. "yeah. I just needed a couple of days to cool off but now I'm back and ready to serve, what may I get you ?". The day pretty much went that way the whole day, people being glad to see  Harry's face and Harry glad to see theirs. "C ara , my shift is over. I'm  going to pack up and go to class, okay?" Cara was a great boss, she understood what Harry was going through and never questioned or asked too much from him. "okay, sweet. Make sure you take care of yourself, I'll see you,  tomorrow?" Cara asked  with a raised brow "yes, C ara I'll be back tomorrow." Harry rolled his eyes and  walked out the door.

The moment Harry walked into his class, he regretted it. The first person he spotted was Louis, why was he in this class? Was he stalking him? Did he actually want to learn about American civilization in the 1800's? He needed to get out before anyone spotted him,but before he could turn around Liam, a close friend he met through Lucas called his name making everyone, especially Louis look up and stare at him. Harry had no choice but to walk awkwardly towards Liam and take the seat next to him. "I'm sorry I made everyone stare at you. Especially the cute new guy." Fuck, Louis was already known as the cute new guy. "it's fine, I actually was just on my way out. I'm not feeling too good." Harry said before getting up and walking out of the building without as much as a glance back. When Harry decided he was far enough from the building he sat at one of the many benches available. It was quiet and the sun was golden, Harry sat quietly until footsteps were heard coming closer to him but he didn't look up. "Harry, can we talk?" It was Louis because of course it was, Harry was convinced that if there was a God then she hates him. "uh, actually I was just leaving." Harry said getting up, darting eye contact. "Harry, please.let me explain. If you still hate me after then I'll just have to live with it." Louis reached out and held on to Harry's bicep, Harry stopped and yanked his arm out of Louis grasp. "Harry, please" Louis pleaded and It made Harry want to cry. "fine, I'll listen." Harry sat back down and Louis let out a deep breath and sat next to him. "so, I left." was the first thing that came out of Louis' mouth and Harry wanted to cry but instead he laughed. "I remember that." He shot back." Louis gave a weak smile before continuing "the first night after the day I left I was already regretting it, I missed my family, my friends, and I missed you." The way he mentioned Harry made Harry's stomach turn, he said it like he wasn't just another friend but before he could reply Louis kept going. "I wanted to come back the second day and the day after that but then I got a part-time job at a tool store in London and I started making money, after that I started renting a flat with a boy I met through work and suddenly everything was getting better, I tried not to think about my mom or my siblings or you, I didn't even think about anyone but myself, then I  graduated high school and I was suddenly an adult. Three years after I left was the first time I called my mom, she cried as I expected she begged me to come back, she told me that everyone here missed me and I wanted to come back but instead I promised her I was attending a university and had a stable job and that I was doing fine, she sighed and told me to take care of myself and that  she understood if I never came back. The years passed and I met a boy, he was  wonde r ful , he told me all the right things and touched me the right ways , we lasted a few years but then I started comparing him to you, I compared the way his hands were big but not as big as yours, the way his hair was brown but not as chocolaty as yours, so I left him and I spent 3 months of my life on my friends couch because I couldn't get myself to rent a new flat, I lost my job, and I stopped going to school. My friend begged me to get my shit together so I did and a year and a half later  I was back on my feet and I thought everything was going to be fine, then I started thinking about you again and I needed to keep my promise." Louis stopped talking and looked up at Harry, Harry had tears running down his cheeks and his voice was raspy when he spoke again. "but you didn't, this wasn't the promise, you promised to come back in a year, not seven." Harry muttered and Louis could tell he was ready to keep crying. "bab-" Louis was cut off before he finished "don't call me that. I'm not your baby, I am not a baby. I am a twenty three year old man. Just because you came back or whatever doesn't mean you kept your promise so don't act like you did, there was a promise and this wasn't it." Harry was pissed, how could Louis think he would come back and then everything between them would be the way it was before. They were best friends, they did everything together, harry loved him and now here they are, looking at each other like they are strangers. "Harry, I want you back in my life, I'm sorry I hurt you, I'll never forgive myself and I know we could never go back to being the way that we were but I want you to be in my life." Harry didn't know what to say so he sighed and wiped away a few tear before speaking. "I- I want you back in my life but my life is so different now, I'm so different now. I don't want you to be disappointed and leave again." Louis was shocked, he never thought Harry would actually want to let him back in. "Louis if we do this you have to promise you won't leave again and you'll be my best friend again." Harry gave him a little smile, Louis looked back at him with shiny eyes and hugged him as tight as he possibly could. "of course, I'm here to stay." Louis whispered in his ear sending a shiver down Harry's back.

For now everything was okay and they could figure out the rest later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so louis explained.... i don't know if this is all i want louis to say or if i want him to have secrets so just stay tuned i guess. also i finished writing this yesterday but i was too busy freaking out about harry's birthday to type anything out. anyways i hope i don't disappoint.


	5. The day Lucas proposed

The day Lucas proposed 

It had been three days since Louis and Harry agreed to be in each others' lives again and Harry was over the moon, there was just one problem, Harry hadn't told Lucas yet. He knew Lucas would judge him and tell him that he was making a big mistake. Harry decided today was the day he was going to tell Lucas about all of this. The day started off normal with Lucas and Harry cuddling in bed and kissing lazily until Oreo clawed at the door. "someone's hungry, and no one in this house feeds you, huh?" Harry cooed at the furry cat. "don't worry, daddy will feed you." Harry continued as he poured the dry food into her pink bowl. "baby, can I take you somewhere today?" Lucas asked from the bathroom where he was brushing his teeth and shaving now. "uh, yeah. I'm all free today. Where did you have in mind?" Lies, he and Louis were planning on going to a farmer's market like old times but he was sure he could take a raincheck "it's a surprise actually." Lucas said matter-of-factly. "oh? And what would you have done if I was busy today?" Harry asked, amused. "I would've dragged you with me anyway" Lucas adds cheekily. Harry kissed him and walked to their room to get dressed. 

W hile he was getting dressed he heard his phone ring and assumed it was Louis texting to confirm their plans. 

_ H az , are we still going to the farmers market  today? _

B efore Harry could type out his reply another message came through.

_ H arry! I know you're still not asleep. _

This time Harry felt guilty but he typed out his reply before Louis got impatient and sent another text 

 _Actually, can I take a raincheck? Lucas is taking me_ _on a_ _surprise trip._  

This time it took longer for Louis to reply. 

 _W_ _ho's this L_ _ucas_ _fella? :(_  

 _N_ _ever mind I get it. We'll go some other time, have fun!_  

Harry knew he didn't need to explain himself but he did it anyways 

 _L_ _ucas is my boyfriend, we'll go next weekend. I promise :)_  

Harry left his phone and went to brush his teeth when he heard Lucas talking on the phone to someone "yes, exactly! Is everything ready? Okay, great.we'll be there soon." And then ended the call. Suspicious, Harry would say but he just brushed his teeth, put some fancy oils in his hair, and before he knew it he was in a car driving to God knows where with his hand in Lucas' while stupid pop songs played silently in the background. 

T hey were at a private beach, Harry  assumed. "why are we at a beach?" Lucas laughed and got out of the car, walked to  H arrys' side and opened the door for him. "you'll see." Lucas said before holding out his hand for Harry to take,  Harry glared at him before sighing and grabbing his hand. They walked for what seemed like hours to  L ucas "why did I park so far away?" He internally groaned but he could tell Harry was enjoying the view so instead of complaining he just watches Harry. When Harry sees it he gasps, and then they get closer and Harry sees all of the white Jasmines that surround a queen sized bed  and instantly knows what they are doing on a private beach. Lucas leads Harry to sit on the bed before he pulls out a red box that is sure to hold the ring and Harry just stares at his adorable boyfriend. "Harry, baby when we met you were sitting in an art class I didn't even plan on being at, the moment I saw you drawing a flower that looked more like a vagina than an actual flower I knew I had to talk to you. Talking to you was easy, like too easy. We got closer after that and I asked you on our first date, we went to an art show, a room full of art and all I could stare at was you. So I asked you to be mine and to my surprise, you said yes, a year later we were in the biggest fight of our relationship when I asked you to move in with me and with tears in your eyes you kissed me and said: "of course you stupid idiot". It's funny how I don't even remember what that fight was about noW. I knew that I loved you the moment I saw you asleep in my arms after the first time we made love, you were sweaty, you're face was red and all I could think about was how much  I loved you, I really love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you if you'll have me. Harry, will you make me the happiest man on earth and marry me?" By the end of that speech, harry was crying "y-yeah yeah of course!" Harry rushed out and ran into  L ucas' arms,  L ucas barely had any time to present the ring before Harry was pressing their lips together and kissing him passionately. They did end up using the bed  but mostly just for sleeping

The next morning Harry woke up on a bed in the middle of a beach with an engagement ring on his ring finger and then it hit him, he was engaged, he was getting married! Lucas was laying next to him and Harry saw the sun rising, making the sky pink. He laid there for about ten minutes before Lucas was waking up and turning to look at him. "how long have you been up?" Lucas asked looking up "about ten minutes, didn't wanna wake you." Harry says as he plays with the ring on his finger. "you could've, Should we go home? I still need to tell everyone you're going to be officially mine." Lucas says, grinning and Harry might actually lose track of time in his smile. "I was yours before" he scoffs and Lucas' smile only gets brighter "you got me there." They leave twenty minutes later, Harry taking all of the Jasmines that were in vases because "Lucas, I can't let you waste them!".

The moment they walked  throught the door of their flat everything seemed strange.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know how i feel about this, I'm gonna be honest.


	6. Day 1: Issues

Harry doesn't really know how long it's been since Lucas proposed or how long he has been hiding the fact that he is getting married, but he does know how long it's been since he forgave Louis and how long he's been keeping it from Lucas, he thinks it's about time Lucas knew. 

"how many bananas do you think we need?" Harry asks looking up from the piles of bananas and to Lucas. "uh, at least 2 bunches" Lucas responds without looking up from picking up the red apples. "I think I'll get three." Harry picks up three bunches of bananas and puts them into plastic bags. "whatever you want, babe." Lucas wraps an arm around Harry's waist and pulls him back against his chest. "let's get you home so you can get to eating them." Harry blushes when he looks up to see Louis standing in front of the avocados staring at them. Harry clears his throat and steps away from Lucas, Lucas gives him a confused look because usually harry loves being coddled in the middle of public places; loves being reminded who he belongs to. Louis walks towards them with an awkward smile on his face. "hi, Harry!" He exclaims and Harry can't help but smile at him. "hi, didn't expect to see you today!" Harry feels Lucas' eyes on them so he extends his arm to put it around him and says "Louis, this is my fiance, Lucas." Lucas looks at him like he's crazy, and then he realizes he just implied to Lucas that he has been seeing Louis for awhile and hadn't bothered to tell him. "uh, hi. I'm the fiance" Lucas spoke up after a few seconds of awkward silence and gave Louis a smile that harry knew was fake. "you didn't tell me you were getting married! Congrats, mate." Louis said with a tone that told Harry he needed to explain things to each of them. "yes, we got engaged a few weeks ago, Kind of took me by surprise, it was a lovely proposal though." Harry looked at Lucas and gave his hand a squeeze. "so, um, yeah, we should really get going but was nice seeing you, Louis." Harry said as he led Lucas towards the cereal aisle and waved goodbye.   
"I can't believe you are letting him back in your life! Do you not remember what he did to you?" Lucas had been yelling for over thirty minutes without letting harry talk at all. "Harry, baby, listen I love you so much but I just don't understand this, why? Are you still in love with him?" Lucas looked at harry expectantly, harry looked down at his engagement ring. "uh, n-no. I just- I figured that having him as a friend would be better than as having him continue to haunt my mind in the worst way. I don't still love him, I love you." Harry felt tears run down his cheeks and Lucas' thumb wiping the tears away and pulling him into his embrace. "I- I'm sorry, harry. Please stop crying. I overreacted it's just- you tell me everything, from who you saw at work to how you feel, we don't have secrets but you kept this from me and I was hurt, why couldn't you just have told me the first day? I would've understood." Lucas was rubbing his hands up and down Harry's arm, trying to calm him."I wanted to, I just didn't think you'd take it well, thought you'd take back your engagement ring and dump me. I really want us to work and I didn't want to ruin it. I'm sorry, I promise to tell you everything from now on." Lucas smiled and kissed Harry's cheek. "it's okay. I love you." Harry smiled and wrapped his arm around Lucas' waist 

Everything was fine. At least it seemed fine, Harry felt there was something he was forgetting. It was a Monday morning when Louis walked into the coffee shop and orders his regular without looking harry in the eye, even when Harry tried to tell him a cheesy joke, he just ignored him. Louis was sitting at a table by the window with an empty coffee cup next to him when Harry came up behind him to pick up his trash. “Lou, you okay?” Louis looked up at Harry for the first time in the past hour and a half but he doesn’t say anything he just gives him a little smile and walked out without another word. 

Harry didn’t see Louis for 5 days after that, he didn’t know why but he felt shitty for not following Louis, for not pushing harder. On the sixth day Louis walked into the coffee shop with a man Harry had seen once before but couldn't quite pin where he had. Louis didn't talk to him that day either, which really bothered him but he tried not to show it. 

"Harry, love, are you alright? Haven't seen you in a few days." Louisa says from where she's standing behind harry as he tries to unlock the apartment door. "I'm- I'm fine. I've just been busy planning and such." Harry lies, he can tell without looking up at Louisa that she knows he's lying. "come on lovely, talk to me. I want to help." She gently pushes. "Louisa! Nothing's wrong. Stop pressing." Harry says before turning the key in the lock and walking inside. He can hear Louisa scoff and steps down the hall. "I heard that little spat you had with Louisa, mind telling me what that whole thing was about?" Harry jumps at the sudden voice speaking to him, he looks up and sees Lucas. "I can't do this right now, Lucas." He says before setting all his stuff down and going straight to his bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i um, am not sure how i feel about this i'm going to be honest but when am i ever sure about anything.


	7. Day 2: More Issues

The next morning Harry woke up to his alarm beeping, he didn't mean to go to sleep, really. The moment he laid his head on his pillow his eyes instantly shut and now he's here, wiping the sleep out of his eyes in an empty, mostly made bed. "ah, you're finally up. I was wondering if I was going to have to wake you from your beauty sleep." Lucas said as he walked in through the door holding what Harry could hope is tea for him. "here, I made you some tea." Harry takes it from him and gives him a small smile as a thank you. "so, are we going to talk about yesterday?" Lucas asks and Harry's brain physically shut off. "uh, actually, what time is it?" He asks, trying to change the topic. "7:40, last time I checked." He says eyeing Harry. "I'm extremely late for work, I got to get there and open up before Cara kills me." He says and moves to go to the bathroom but before he can even take a third step Lucas puts a hand on his chest to stop him and shakes his head. "already called Cara, she said you should take a sick day, seems everyone but me knows what's going on.." He mutters the last part to himself but Harry still hears it, hears the hatefulness in the words, Harry flinches. "I don't need a sick day, I'll go into the café today and we'll talk after I get back." Lucas sighs and steps out of the way, letting Harry make his way into the bathroom as he goes his separate way. 

The moment Harry walks into the coffee shop he is met with Cara's angry face "what the hell are you doing here, Harry? Lucas called I gave you a sick day." "Cara, I'm fine. Just woke up a little late is all." Cara sighs and rubs her temples but before she can say anything else Harry is already reaching for his apron. "we need to talk to you after work, so stick around after your shift is over." Cara said and Harry could tell she wasn't playing around.   
Louis came in with the same guy from the other day, Harry saw them sit at a table by the window in the front of the shop, the man leaned down and kissed Louis' cheek before walking up to Harry: up to the cash register. All Harry wanted to do was tell him to get lost and not bother Louis anymore but he knew he couldn't do that, Louis wasn't his, Louis was barely his friend, instead, he gave the man a bright smile and said "what may I get you today, sir?' If this didn't prove how professional Harry was then nothing ever would. "can I have a medium hot chocolate and a small Yorkshire tea?" Lou's favorite he thinks. "name?" "sky" "like the blue one?' Harry jokes because yes, he does like tips. Sky smiles at him before saying "the very same.". harry smiles at him before walking back to get the drinks ready. "sky!" Harry yells out making both sky and Louis look up from where they were both looking at a laptop, Harry doesn't know if Louis looked up because his friend did or because he heard Harry's voice. Louis leaves after that, not that Harry was watching him or anything. 

At the end of his shift, Harry is cleaning the table tops when Cara comes up behind him and taps his shoulder "do you wanna tell me what's been wrong now?" She asks but Harry can tell it's more of a demand. "uh, no I actually have to get home and talk to Lucas first." He half-lies because yes, he does have to do that but he doesn't mention how he's probably going to go to the park to sit and relax until the sun goes down. "babe, you know you can talk to me, right?" She says with a soft smile on her face that Harry can tell is genuine. "I- uh- I know I just need to talk to Lucas first, he is my fiancé, after all, Harry," he says a lot more harshly than he expected. "Harry. But just know if you do wanna talk I'm here." After that, she walks back to the kitchen, Harry sighs and puts his cleaning supplies away and hangs up his apron before waving a goodbye to Cara who was now working the register. 

On his way home, he did sit in a park until the sun was golden and the sky was pink. He hadn't looked at his phone all day and when he finally did all he saw was missed calls and unanswered texts from Lucas, before he knew it he was setting his stuff on the kitchen table. Harry hadn't even been home for half an hour when Lucas storms in with a red face and glassy eyes, it looks like he has been crying and Harry feels guilty for doing this to them. "Harry," is the first thing that comes out of his mouth. "Harry, baby, we need to talk." He continues and the only thing Harry can do is nod. "I just want to know what's going on, I don't want you to feel like you can't talk to me because you can." Lucas continued. "Lucas, I know I can trust you and I can talk to you I just don't even know what I'm going through right now," Harry says without looking up at him, In reality he just didn't want to tell his fiancé that the ex-love of his life hasn't talked to him in days and he was slowly falling apart. "I just hate feeling like you're keeping something that is obviously tearing you up to yourself, I want to help and if I can't I want to comfort you at least." Lucas says as he moves closer to Harry and Harry lets him, "why can't you comfort me without knowing the reason for my sadness?" Harry asks, his voice muffled by Lucas' chest. "I can, love. I just don't want you to feel like you have to keep everything in, you know?" Lucas runs his hands down his back in an attempt to comfort Harry. "l know, thank you but for now I think I'd like to just be cuddled and watch a stupid movie on the couch." Harry says and Lucas doesn't reject his idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes yikes, haven't had time to update in awhile so I'm sorry about that but here you go with a shitty chapter :)


	8. Day 3: The Day Louis Came Back...Again

Harry wakes up the ringing of his alarm at 5:40 AM, Lucas' arms wrapped around his waist and his body aching. The moment his squinting eyes met his screen he realized he had a text.... from, Louis. Which was weird because he didn't expect a text from him at all.

_**Harry, can we talk?** _

It was a simple request but it still managed to make his heart jump up his throat. The text had been sent 30 minutes ago so Louis must be awake. 

**Um, yeah. What's up?**

Really, how naïve of Harry to think Louis would sound so serious about something and only want to text about it.

_**I meant like meet up some place and talk. If you're not too busy I mean.** _

Harry could never be too busy for Louis, no matter how much Harry hated him sometimes.

**Oh, yeah. Sure we can meet up. When and where?**

**_Can we do it today? I really want to talk asap, are you free right now?_ **

**Right now? Right now? As n 5:45 in the morning?**

Was Louis going insane?

_**Um, yeah. We can meet up at the park by the café if you want.** _

**Yes, perfect. I'll be there in 20.**

Harry was freaking out, how could he ever agree to this, was he going insane as well? Shit, he has 20 minutes to get ready. He slides out of Lucas' arms and presses a kiss to his forehead before walking up to their bedroom and changing. Harry sees him the minute the park is in his line of vision, he sees him sitting

Harry sees him the minute the park is in his line of vision, he sees him sitting on a wooden bench, the light reflecting off of his structured face, the way he's twiddling his fingers, the way he always does when he's nervous. Harry stands still for a moment just admiring the view before Louis looks up at him and gives him an anxious smile. Here they go. "hi"

"hi" louis is the first one to speak, and all harry can think is how much he has missed his voice, it must've taken harry awhile to respond so louis continues. "so, you're probably wondering why I wanted us to meet up at 6 in the morning." He said breaking through harry's thoughts. "oh, yes. Why are we in a park at t6 in the early morning?" Harry looks at louis making eye contact and finally realizes how close to each other they are so he steps back, louis seems to catch his motion so he steps forward again, this time he hold on to harry's bicep. " I love you, harry, I'm in love with you. And I need you to know because I've been up every night since I saw you pressed up against your fiance with banana in your hands, and I can't help thinking that could've been us, actually no it wouldn't have been because by now we would've already been married, with kids, living in a big house and backyard." Louis stops to catch his breath and looks up at Harry who now has eyes rimmed with tears and he can feel the way his body is shaking and he suddenly feels very exposed and open but he needs to say this. "I've loved you since the day I met you, and I'm sorry for leaving, and for breaking the promise. But I love you, I love you so much and I thought I could be just friends with you but I can't, I need you in my life as a lot more than my friend." They are now nose to nose and Harry is full on crying while he shakes his head. "no, no you- you don't get to say that to me. You are the one that brok-" louis interrupts "yes, I know I broke the promise but I still came back and honestly I wouldn't have ever come back if it weren't for you." A breath escapes Harry's mouth in the form a sob and before LOuis can fully processes it Harry's lips are on his and it tastes like tears and a little snot but love, so much love. Louis reaches up to tangle his hands in curls on the back of Harry's neck like he used to. Louis pulls away first but only enough to rest their foreheads together. "louis" louis looks into his eyes as a form of making sure Harry knows he's listening. "louis" Harry whimpers and he's crying again so louis pulls him into a bone crushing hug. "louis, I can't" louis' heart dropped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so like I'm at my dad's house which is the only reason I'm able to write and I'm going through shit right now so this might be shit so like give me a break I guess, it could've been worse.

**Author's Note:**

> i want this to be something i'm proud of so it might take a while for me to post all the parts.


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